Subject: Honda Civic MPG
Hello Nichole;
First let me thank you again for continuing your family’s
business with us. We at Honda really appreciate our family customers, since we
are a family owned location. I am glad to see you have done your research,
however the figures you have reported are actually based off the standard
testing of the auto industry. These figures were for all cars not just Hondas.
The new mileage estimates go into effect on the 2008 Civic models. With that
being said we unfortunately won’t be able to expedite the $40 you have
requested a month. You may think we have misled you but let me assure you we
state all MPG as an average, because of it being just that, the average amount,
based on all models. There are however ways you can increase your fuel mileage.
·
Using cruise control on the highway keeps a
constant speed and saves gas on average.
·
Do not leave your car idling, which can waste up
to half a gallon an hour.
·
Do not keep unnecessary weight in the car. This
waste gas as well.
·
Keep your tire pressure at the proper PSI. It
saves you on gas and puts less wear on your tires.
·
Have your engine tuned up regularly, meaning oil
changes, replacing air filters, and checking for bad sensors.
·
Avoid aggressive driving rapid acceleration and
breaking wastes gas.
On the note of the defective odometer we will replace that for
you. With that being a manufacturer defect we will also extend the manufacturer’s
mileage warranty for you by about ten percent. Which I have already put on your
records. For your inconvenience of having to come get that replaced I am
willing to give you either a $40 dollar gas card or $40 off your next month’s
bill. I look forward to seeing you and I hope you continue to do business with
us. Keep in mind you are also able to refinance your car in two years or even
trade it in for a newer model, with even better MPGs.
Best regards,
Bill
Valerie, As I read thru this I found one glaring thing that struck me as an issue more so then any other. In the top paragraph you stated "we unfortunately won’t be able to expedite the $40 you have requested" which means you cant provide it quickly and not that you wont provide it. This is reinforced by the following sentence in the second paragraph.
ReplyDelete"For your inconvenience of having to come get that replaced I am willing to give you either a $40 dollar gas card or $40 off your next month’s bill" This causes major confusion on the readers part as they could understand it to be that while they cant get it quick, they are gong to get it. Just an observation.
Thank you! I was having a blank when I typed expidite, and my last paragraph should have said "a one time $40..."
DeleteI love your bullet points and how easily you put out the information for the reader. The relationship between Bill and Nicole is also well established.
ReplyDeleteI would consider making the introductory and conclusion paragraphs smaller and indenting when you can, as this will make it more reader-friendly. Also the first paragraph reads in a confusing sort of way, so I would consider breaking up the sentences as much as you can.
I agree with Brook in that you should consider breaking up the beginning paragraph. It makes a lot of the main points you should hit on all seem as one idea. Besides that, you seemed to give Nicole the helpful information that would make her relationship with the company stay positive.
ReplyDelete