To: Nicole
From: Bill
Subject: Honda Civic concerns
Nicole,
I would first like to start out by saying I appreciate you bringing your concerns about your 2005 Honda Civic to my attention. I always urge all of my loyal customers to come to me if they have a concern and I do my best to assist them.
My apologies to you if you felt I mislead you in any way while selling you your Civic, those were not my intentions at all. Your family is a loyal member of our team here and we would never try to discredit that in any way.
I am going to address your first concern of the gas mileage. Unfortunately, I will be unable to provide you with the 40 dollars a month you have requested, but through the helpful site you sent to me I was able to find some ways to ensure you are getting the best mileage as possible!
Here are the tips I found:
- Drive sensibly- driving slow and avoiding sudden acceleration or braking could potentially save you $0.10 to $0.35 per gallon of gas.
- Avoid access weight- 100 pounds added to your car can reduce your MPG by 2%.
- Use recommended grade of motor oil- This can improve MPG 1-2%.
- Keep tires are proper pressure- This can help save by 3.3%
Honda is more than willing to extend your mileage warranty by 10 percent. I have already updated this in your records for you so I assure you that is taken care of. If you have any more concerns please do not hesitate to contact me immediately. Good luck on the rest of your school year.
Sincerely,
Bill
Overall you got what is needed and organized the information pretty well. Only one thing I noticed that you could maybe change was the very begging when you said " I would first like to start". I think you can do without actually stating I would first. Typically you do not have to begin emails by saying first off, the bullets or numbers can numerically organize your information. Try starting off by saying Thank you for informing me, or , I appreciate you bringing this to my concerns ( which I believe you stated that right after saying "first off" ). Anyways, good work on being assertive and making the information clear!
ReplyDeleteI like how you tell her you appreciate her coming to you with her concerns, it shows you care about her as a customer. I think that bulleting the tips and making them bold draw the attention to the important information and keeps the email organized. I think it would help to talk about the gas mileage for 2008 that she provided and the gas mileage for 2005 that you provided. You need to include this to prove that you didn't mislead her. You also don't mention anything about the odometer issue that she had, it would help to include that.
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ReplyDeleteOverall, I feel you communicated the message well. You are straight-forward yet personable. However, you might use the word "I" too often. Although you can't give her what she asks, making her the subject of sentences will give a sense of care and attention. Also, be careful with your sentence structure; some phrases ran-on a bit at times. Good job though.
ReplyDeleteI believe the strongest point in this email was the format. Aside from tabbing, the format was on point. The weakest point, however, would be the apology in the second paragraph. You weren't the reason that she felt misled, so there wasn't necessarily a reason to apologize to begin with. The entirety of the email was great though.
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