To: Nicole Tolman
Date: 8/29/2014
Time: 2:05 p.m.
Subject: Honda Civic MPG Issues
Nicole,
Thank
you for bringing your concern to my attention. As you have previously stated
from your e-mail, I understand that the Honda Civic you recently purchased from
my dealership is lower on miles per gallon that you had planned.
I
myself had no intention of misleading you into thinking that our Honda Civics
have better gas mileage than they actually do. Our dealership holds a high
level of integrity and would not intentionally misinform. The MPG figures you
have given me are based upon tests we run on all our cars, not just the Honda
Civic models. These particular figures are for the 2008 Civic models, not the
2005. Therefore our dealership will not be able to give you money for the extra
cost.
However,
there are other different ways to save on gas. How is your driving? Aggressive
driving and driving consistently over 50 mph wastes gas at a faster rate.
Consider being careful in how you drive and using cruise control when you can,
as both help save on gas mileage. Have you been carrying a lot of your luggage
in your car? Adding heavy weight can
also drain your MPG.
Despite
the cost on fuel, I understand that your odometer is a problem. Our dealership
is willing to replace your odometer at no extra cost. Honda has also agreed to
extend your mileage warranty since your odometer is damaged.
Again,
thank you for your time and please consider contacting Honda in replacing your
odometer. I wish you the best while you are away at college.
Sincerely,
Bill
I think that your attention to detail communicates well and leaves little room for misunderstanding. I like your incentive of replacing the odometer for free, I think that would help ease the blow for any customer. Your paragraph that discusses the website she provided almost makes it sound like the only reason she isn't getting the $40 a month is because the data she presented to you was from the wrong year of car. I might suggest make the denial separate from discussing the email. I think this is a good rough draft and I think the final product will be great.
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job with being thorough and clear about Honda's thoughts/actions. I am partial to rhetorical questions, they sound sincere to me. This is another aspect I like; the sincerity is shown through the interest of the customer's driving habits. , Second, while the compensation explanation is brief, it is clear and clever and shows that Honda will act swiftly.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I feel like this is more of a direct method than an indirect. For example, there are some negative words in it, such as "not". Sometimes it has to be used, but there are other times when the refusal or denial can be stated differently. And at times attention is brought the speaker's innocence, which is understandable. But try to direct it to Nicole.
It is great though! I know the final draft will be one of the best.