To: Tolman, Nicole
From: Bill
Subject: 2005 Honda Civic
Dear Nicole,
I would like to thank both yourself
and your family for being loyal Honda customers. I would also like to thank you
for reaching out to me with the concerns you have with your 2005 Honda Civic. I
hope you understand I would never intentionally misrepresent information,
especially to a loyal customer, such as yourself. Considering the gas mileage
of a car and taking that information into account to build a steady budget is a
commendable act.
Unfortunately, Honda will not be
able to pay a $40 per month stipend as requested. However, I reviewed the
website you provided and found great information that could benefit both my
clients’ and my own driving. Unfortunately, the data represents cars both made after
the year of 2008 and were based on the standard tests the whole industry used
for all cars, not just Hondas. However, I believe the information could still
be greatly beneficial in your case. Some great tips I found to help lower fuel
costs are following:
- Observe the speed limit: Gas mileage usually decreases rapidly at speeds above 50 mph, averaging approximately an additional $0.24 per gallon for every 5 mph over 50 mph.
- Cruise Control: Use cruise control on the highway—it helps you maintain a constant speed and, in most cases, will save gas.
- Avoid Excessive Idling: Idling can use ¼- ½ gallon of fuel per hour, depending on engine size and air conditioner use. Turn off your engine when your vehicle is parked, as it only takes a few seconds worth of fuel to restart your vehicle.
I
also wanted to let you know Honda agreed to extend the mileage warranty approximately
10% on all cars equipped with the faulty odometer. I have updated your record
to show the extended warranty period on your car and this information can be
found within your records.
Again, I appreciate you coming to me
with your concerns and I sincerely hope the information I have provided will be
helpful. If you have any other questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to
reach out.
Thank you for your
loyalty and drive safe,
Bill
I believe that your email gave the correct information along with it being organized. I also can get behind your sincerity in the email. Two things that you could maybe change would the first sentence and the last line before you state your name "Bill". The first sentence could actually be swapped with the second sentence when you stated "thank you for reaching out to me with the concerns you have with your 2005 Honda Civic". I think addressing the point of the email first would be more important than complementing the customers family loyalty. Actually, I think you could use your first sentence in the last paragraph rather than the first because its more of a concluding thought and will leave the reader thinking of you on a high note. The second note that I wanted to get too was the line " Thank you for your loyalty and drive safe". I mean this in the best way but I believe there is some repetition on appreciating Nicole's loyalty. I think you could just conclude by saying " Thank you and drive safe" or " sincerely". Overall, you wrote a good email and it was assertive, to the point and I think you got this nailed down!
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic! The email looks like it could have been written by a real PR or salesman. It hits every mark clearly and thoroughly. It was very well-written in the way you introduced the bad news but quickly made it less bad by writing straight afterwards the good news. Additionally, there is good news everywhere; it is easy to pick out and not so easy to pick out the bad news. You truly did make the response about the customer's happiness and wasted no lines.
ReplyDeleteI found one thing that might trigger an angry reaction (I could just be overreacting). It is the line in which you tell Nicole that the information on the site she sent you would still be helpful to her. I'm sure you meant it in a helpful way, but the customer may find it insulting that the salesman suggests she may not have seen the advice, especially when she is a future business graduate.
Awesome job!